


The Rearview Mirror

by alphaofallcats



Series: The Fire Escape (Punk Boys SNK AU) [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Explicit Language, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I'm trying to be generous with the tags as a precaution, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Punk Eren Yeager, Punk Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 09:36:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15579012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alphaofallcats/pseuds/alphaofallcats
Summary: “It’ll change. You put that fucking label on us and I swear to god things will change.”





	The Rearview Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Ereri Angst Weekend Day 3: Goodbye

Eren’s smile is too wide for someone who just dumped a Ziplock bag of his mother’s ashes in the ocean.

“Bye, Ma.”

Not sure if he should bother speaking (or if Eren even wants him to) Levi raises his hand in an awkward wave.

A breeze rushes in from the ocean, trickling through Levi’s denim jacket, leaving his skin raised in harsh goosebumps. Every now and then he changes his footing, lifting his feet once the slimy sand has swallowed them. The saltwater licks his toes, which are nearly blue and stinging from threatening numbness. But it only lasts for a second, as the tide pulls the water back, bringing the foam with it. 

The air brushing against his skin, the sand squishing between his toes, the waves nipping at his heels. He’s distracted by all of it, the process, the rhythm.

He’s not sure how long they’ve been standing there, only shakes out his haze when Eren knocks his hip into his side.

“When am I taking you on that date?”

The rolling of the next wave sweeps a chill up his spine, a cold, wisping breath that tightens around his chest.

“Come on,” Levi says, looking up at Eren from the corner of his eyes. His hair is almost down to his shoulders, and Levi watches as it tousles in the wind. “I figured you would have dropped this by now. The joke’s getting old.”

“It’s not a joke.”

“I’m not the boyfriend type.” He turns, meeting Eren’s eyes, watching his face twist in a scowl.

“You are.”

“No. I’m not.” He lets out a breath between his teeth. “I’m a fucking asshole. I’ll shove away your affection, I won’t answer your texts, I’ll ignore you.”

“You don't now.”

“It’ll change. You put that fucking label on us and I swear to god things will change.”

“It doesn’t have to—”

“Seriously, I’m not the kind of guy you want to date.”

“Oh, woe is Levi!” Eren exclaims, stepping away, lifting his arms out in a sweeping gesture, words echoing and violent. “You don’t want to fucking try, you don’t want to get better, you don’t want to be better. You want to stay in the fucking hole you’ve buried yourself in, just to have something to write about.” 

Stomping close again to growl in his face, Eren mocks him, “A fucking romantic poem to death, wanting to kiss it’s cold embrace or whatever bullshit, hoping it’ll come find you sooner rather than later. Sweep you off your fucking feet.”

“Like you don’t have a pretentious reputation to keep up, huh?” His voice doesn’t get loud like Eren’s. It stays level, but there’s still pain in it. “Getting into fights every day. Living to collect more bruises and scars to add to your litany of stories. Acting out so _Daddy Dearest_ notices you—”

“Shut up!”

“—At least I don’t use my dead mother as an excuse for being a fuck up.” 

The words are wrong. They leave a sickening aftertaste in his mouth and he wants to throw up the minute he registers them.

But they’re there, sitting in the air between them, and not even the breeze will take them away.

Eren inhales, labored and rough, nostrils flaring, eyes ready to bleed with tears he’s never allowed himself to shed-- not in front of Levi, at least. 

It sounds like he’s chewing on glass, voice gritty and sharp when he says, “I want to hit you.”

But he doesn’t move and it infuriates Levi. Makes him want to regret the words, because Eren would never hit him.

“Well if you won't hit me,” and even he sounds breathless now, “I'll hit you.”

Levi doesn’t move either. Doesn’t flinch when Eren shifts, turning to look at the ocean. The pause in words makes static crackle around them, dangerous and suffocating. He knows Eren sees something he can’t; maybe an answer, maybe a question, a memory, a secret. A doomed future. A happy one.

Then Eren cocks his head back, eyes having lost all trace of their venom. He smirks, “Want to go steal coffee from WaWa?”

“What do we do if we get caught?” Levi asks, tugging a lighter out of his pocket. Eren cups his hand around the spark, and it’s not even that windy, the breeze is cold but not terribly strong. Levi supposes it’s just one of the many habits Eren can’t break. 

He wonders if Eren does it for anyone else. Or is Levi always different?

“A handjob seems agreeable,” he says as they turn back to trudge up the dunes. Levi has sand in his Converse and it’s irritating as hell. The ankles of his sweatpants are still damp from the waves, but each inhale of smoke seems to calm his nerves. If only just enough to follow Eren. “But if we get donuts too that’s definitely worth a blowjob.”

“And what if it’s a girl?”

“Doesn’t bother me,” he shrugs, “Petra says my tongue is magic.”

Levi snorts. He knows. Oh god, does he know.

Eren curls a finger around the car keyring, twirling it around and around, so it jingles in his hand, clicking and rattling. Levi puffs out more smoke. 

Eren doesn’t own a car.

When Eren puts the car in drive, he doesn’t look back. He didn’t look back when they pulled out of the parking spot. No second glance over his shoulder, no gazing at the rearview mirror. 

Eren leaves the ocean with no hesitation. He rolls down all the windows, lights up a smoke, and drives 15 miles above the speed limit.

**Author's Note:**

> A final thank you to [rolling-wavves](http://rolling-wavves.tumblr.com) for helping me with the ideas behind this.
> 
> Lots of hugs and thank you's to [lankylevi](https://lankylevi.tumblr.com) for helping me beta this! And helping me figure out these emotions.
> 
> Shout out to everyone at [ererievents](http://ererievents.tumblr.com) for running this event, you guys are awesome.
> 
> And a final thank you to [Aer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisgirlsays22/pseuds/thisgirlsays22). These boys wouldn't exist without you.


End file.
